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22-Feb-2017 15:07

Never mind that he and I grew less compatible as we got older, he was everything my father wasn't. One night I drunkenly stumbled home with a guy I'd met at a party. This was how I justified my transgressions back then, by telling myself I couldn't control it. I quit my job and went back to grad school to become a writer. The problem was that — when it came to sex — these political and intellectual beliefs about sex made it that much harder to admit that my personal sexual conduct was problematic. Since Rick wanted to be with me, this was something he'd just have to accept. He and I would chat online all day when I was at work, and we started attending literary readings together in the evenings.

The first time I cheated on Rick, we were freshman in college and I was living in Mexico as a student abroad. We were seen together so often people started to assume we were dating. Never mind that I was still engaged to Rick at the time.

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This app and the "men" that use it are truly evil and horrible.

The impossibility of my actually being with either of them made it all the more exciting. Then, once while drunk, I leaned into Justin and kissed him. I immediately regretted it, knowing exactly what would happen. Like my relationship with Brie, my friendship with Justin would be destroyed.



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