Boundaries in dating cloud and townsend
“Nowhere are we commanded to have ‘other-control,’ although we spend a lot of time trying to get it! Cloud and Townsend’s position is clear: “we are responsible ourselves.” They make much of Galatians 6:2, 5. We are expected to deal with our own feelings, attitudes, and behaviours, as well as the responsibilities God has given to each of us, even though it takes effort (p.
These verses instruct us “to carry each other’s burdens” (v. 31) Thus, having clear boundaries does not preclude Christian love.
Cloud and Townsend have done us a great service in affirming this truth.
The spirit of our age has a particular psychological manifestation.
The beginning and end of this book—its boundaries (sorry, I couldn’t resist)—tell its story. She wants to do the right thing in her relationships but her choices lead to chaos, guilt and resentment. In the final chapter, this situation is transformed. It’s the same Sherrie, but with a different life, “characterised by freedom, self-control, and intimacy” (p.
But let me explain the reasons why I’d rate this book three stars. As we are led through a day in her ‘boundaryless’ life, we find a person who can’t say ‘no”.
We can control only our own lives and choices, therefore we can be responsible only for our own ‘yard”. We are not responsible for the behaviour of another; nor must we abdicate to another the responsibility for our own actions.
This frees us from the frustration that invariably accompanies any attempt to ‘fix’ someone else’s ‘property”. “A common boundary problem is disowning our choices and trying to lay the responsibility for them on someone else.” (p. What, then, of the central New Testament virtue of loving and serving others?
that you can learn to begin to experience life differently” (p. They attempt to debunk some common boundary myths and then apply the teaching to a range of relationships and life-situations (family, friends, work, etc).
In this book, Cloud and Townsend have tapped into a key biblical truth, that of .
For such people, it’s a potentially life changing book and the Amazon reviews bear testimony to such change.