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Marriage coach Mort Fertel says, “Ironically, communication techniques sometimes give people clarity that they don’t care what their spouse thinks or feels.They ‘understand it’ but it doesn’t matter to them anymore.” This is ironic because couples often go to marriage counseling to learn to “communicate better.” They learn how to be honest and open about their feelings, they learn how to listen and speak clearly…and they learn that one or both of them has no interest in trying to save their relationship. If you tend to be critical of him, then you’re displaying one of Dr Gottman’s warning signs your marriage is over.Millions of relationships get pulled from the brink of divorce court every year by couples who are committed to rebuilding their marriages.Contempt is the biggest red flag – the most troubling warning sign that your marriage is over – according to Dr.“Treating others with disrespect and mocking them with sarcasm are forms of contempt.So are hostile humor, name-calling, mimicking, and/or body language such as eye-rolling and sneering.Through their newfound communication skills, they learn that they’re too tired to work on their marriage. This type of indifference is one of the most important warning signs your marriage is over. Negative or “helpful” feedback can be difficult for husbands to take; criticism will cut him to the core.“Criticizing your partner is different than offering a critique or voicing a complaint,” writes Lisitsa on Recognizing Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
Learn how to cope with your feelings and how to set boundaries with your husband.
John Gottman and his four decades of marriage research.