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I speak to people who are in healthy relationships all the time and not one of these people is caught up in some guys ‘relationship menstrual cycle’!The people who are caught up in this cycle are unhappy and it’s not just because they don’t understand that their man is like a rubber band who needs them to let them breathe and do his thang so that he’ll feel the desire to return; it’s because coupled up with other factors in the relationship, there are some serious issues at work. What if he’s just popping in to get what he needs on his terms and then skipping off again the moment that he feels that she wants, needs, or expects too much from him? What if he hurtles out of the gate blowing super hot, pursuing you relentlessly, declaring the ‘I Love you’s’ and all that jazz, only to then start stretching himself out to distance himself from you and you start feeling a lukewarm or even super cold breeze coming through? What if after he’s blown lukewarm or cold, he starts blowing hot again just as he feels that things are dipping out of his control so he needs to manage the relationship back to the comfort zone of The Status Quo, the comfortable middle ground that a Mr Unavailable determines for the relationship?
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It IS very draining when you have to be everything to her. He had a really sweet girlfriend, very pretty too, but she would not let him breathe!